Mind Job

WOW! I've been gone a long time. :)

2011-12-29T21:44:00.002-05:00

Well, I wish I could say that I've been lost on a deserted island with Sawyer, but sadly, I cannot.
Mostly, I've just been sleeping, working, eating, and living life as it comes...pretty much in that order too. ;) Then I reminded myself of my poor neglected blog, so here I am again. I am 40 now! I cringe every time I say that. Where did my youth go? LOL! Yes, I don't look forth, or feel forty, and I think that is why I am so disturbed by it. I mean, come on! If you don't look it, or feel it...then you shouldn't have to be it! Right? Can I get a Hell Yeah from anyone out there? :) So, I am dealing with this milestone in my life, and I can happily say that so far , so good. I have some new people in my life, my family is healthy, I manage to keep a job in this economy, my house has not caved in around me, have my beautiful Dal-gal, Liberty to greet me at home every day, and still have my awesome Hummer, the last of her kind. So, I really cannot complain. I just need to accept the fact that I am now too old for those micro-mini skirts, hot college boys, and pink glitter lipstick. LOL! Maybe only allowed on Halloween now....Just maybe! Oh, and Josh Holloway is 42, so if I can find some men MY AGE such as him, then I may not miss those hot college boys so much. ;)

May Sun + Va. Wine Country + 951 feet = Good Times!!

2010-05-11T13:37:00.009-04:00

This past weekend, I checked out a relatively new winery in beautiful Virginia countryside, just an hour's drive outside of DC, called Bluemont Vineyard....and may I just say that the view was definitely worth the gorgeous drive.

It is at an elevation of 951 feet in the Blue Ridge Mountains with a 50 mile view . On a clear day, you can even see the top of the Washington Monument!

Each of their wines are named after farm animals, which I thought was cute, and because they have a working farm at the foot of the mountain. Their wines were quite tasty.

Looks like the perfect spot to enjoy a glass of wine....don'tcha think?

If you find yourself wandering in Northern Virginia's wine country, it would be a shame not to add Bluemont Vineyard to your trip. I'm going back to try their dessert wines when they start bottling in June...especially their blackberry wine. Mmm yummy!!

Let Me Introduce.....

2010-05-11T12:30:00.007-04:00

My newest nephew, Gabriel "Gabe" David Esposito. Isn't he just the cutest?!? :) Born 4/23/10 as I was flying out to Florida for work....so I had to wait several days to meet him. I took this pic the day he and I finally got introduced. Multiple photos and videos to follow. ;)

One of Life's Precious Moments

2010-04-13T16:25:00.006-04:00

My beautiful Dalmatian girl, Odysey, passed away yesterday after blessing my life for 13 years. I was able to be home, holding her when she died, and lucky enough to capture this photo of Liberty, my other Dal, telling her sister goodbye. It was a very special moment that I will never forget. I love you, Odysey...always. I know you feel no more pain, but know that Liberty and I feel the loss of you.

Odysey...April 12, 2010

FINALLY! Spring is here!!

2010-03-23T11:28:00.001-04:00

Spring has arrived to my little neck of the woods. Thank the Lord!! I made it!! The winter almost consumed me.

Drug Addict....Binge-Drinker....and Now, Ego-Maniac. She is a Triple Threat!

2010-03-10T18:54:00.006-05:00

So I read that Lohan is suing E*trade for their cute commercial that was aired during the Super Bowl, claiming that the "milkaholic Lindsey" mentioned was clearly referring to her. I have to laugh at this for two reasons.... ONE, that Lohan actually thinks her celebrity status is equal to the likes of Cher, Madonna, Bono....and TWO, that Lohan knows that she is such a binge-drinking lush that she has no doubts that the commercial is referring to her because come on, who else could it be? LOL! Anyone with eyes can see that that cute little baby girl, in no way, represents Lohan. I know we only see her for a few brief seconds at the end of the commercial, but it is clear that that baby is well-nourished (meaning she eats food and not pills),sober (that's a big one), AND exhibits more acting talent in the one small phrase spoken. No similarities to Lohan, whatsoever. Oh, LiLo, you should have stopped at Parent Trap. I actually think the commercial is hilarious, even before reading this, and not even more so. So...in case you haven't seen, ENJOY.

Link to the article:
Lindsay Lohan Sues E-Trade for $100 Million Over Super Bowl Commercial - DailyFinance

'Tis a Sad, Sad Day...

2010-02-25T12:49:00.003-05:00

As a diehard fan, I mourn. :)

GM Kills Hummer

Deal With Chinese Company Falls Through

Posted: Feb, 24 2010

Do I hear dualing Lutes?

2010-02-16T16:07:00.005-05:00

The NEW King Tut

A very interesting article today on AOL News

webpage regarding new DNA findings for King Tutankhamum who died over 3000 years ago. Here are some excerpts from that article.

(article found on AOL News, Feb 16, 2010)

Flight Turbulence
Plane Passenger 'Took a Swing' at Romney
Lawsuit a Go
Judge: Facebook Page Is Protected by Free Speech
'Normal Professor'
Husband: Ala. Professor Went to Shooting Range
Biographies
Is Steve Jobs Finally Ready for His Close-Up?

DNA Detective Work Sheds Light on King Tut's Life, Death

Katie Drummond Contributor

(Feb. 16) --" The most famous of all pharaohs was a frail and sickly king who walked with a cane and suffered from a painful bone disease and a club foot. But it may have been a severe case of malaria that finally killed him, according to groundbreaking new genetic analysis."

"A team of researchers from Egypt, Germany and Italy also developed a definitive family tree for King Tutankhamun, including the identity of his father and grandparents and the two still-born fetuses found in his tomb. The genealogy also confirms that Tut's family was largely the product of in-breeding."

"Tutankhamun was only 19 when he died, circa 1324 BC, after a nine-year reign over Egypt's New Kingdom. His death marked the end of his family's 200-year rule, which was then replaced by a military regime."

"King Tut may have ultimately died of malaria, according to a new genetic analysis."

"The DNA tests determined that King Tut had a clubbed left foot and no use of his right foot, because he suffered from a lack of blood flow that leads to collapsed bones (avascular necrosis). Those ailments explain why 130 wooden sticks and staffs were found in his tomb."

The conditions would have weakened his body and immune system, but they wouldn't have been enough to kill him. Rather, the team suspects that Tut sustained a fall -- which explains the head trauma and broken leg discovered in a 1968 X-ray -- and succumbed to a serious malarial infection.

"Everybody knows the golden mask, but his was not an easy, glamorous life."

"Until the latest tests were performed, the king's lineage also was widely disputed. These tests confirm that his father was Akhenaten, a revolutionary pharaoh known for introducing monotheistic religion. Tut's mother, whom many speculate was Queen Nefertiti, remains unidentified -- still known as Mummy KV35YL."

"DNA analysis has yet to identify KV35YL but did conclude that the unnamed mummy is the sister of Akhenaten, as well as his mating partner."

"Some also speculated that Queen Tiye, a wife of Akhenaten whose body was also embalmed alongside Tut's, was the young pharaoh's mother. In fact, the tests revealed, she was his grandmother."

"The two still-born bodies in Tut's tomb, once thought to have been his half-siblings, have been identified as his children."

"...a long history of in-breeding might be responsible for the premature deaths of Tut's offspring."

"In-breeding in successive generations reduces genetic fitness. This would also explain many of Tut's own physical ailments, which might be caused by the sibling relationship between his mother and father."

"Knowing the secrets of King Tut's life, lineage and death lends a new perspective to royal life in Ancient Egypt,.....'Not very royal, is it?' "

My thoughts on the call for more snow this week....

2010-02-15T21:19:00.001-05:00

Snowpocalypse!

2010-02-06T20:53:00.000-05:00

This is just plain silly....Who needs this much snow? Seriously?

Fortuitous Photo-Op Part 5

2010-01-21T14:17:00.003-05:00

SQUIRREL!!

Great! What's Next? No Stripper Heels while Touring the Monuments?!?

2010-01-11T14:15:00.001-05:00

(article found on change.org)

Don't Carry Condoms in D.C. -- You Could Be Charged With Prostitution

by Alex DiBranco

category: Sex Work

Published January 07, 2010 @ 08:42AM PT

UPDATE: Thanks to commenter Larry Roberts for pointing out that this is a problem in San Francisco, too. Turns out, New York City is also guilty. Stay tuned: another post and action updates to come!
Think you might get lucky tonight? Well, if you're in D.C., don't bring more than two condoms in your purse, or you could be arrested as a prostitute.
In D.C., police can declare "Prostitution Free Zones" where officers can pick up (I mean, arrest) anyone suspected of sex work. And they've been accused of using carrying three or more condoms as proof of intent to sell sex -- rather than intent to spend the weekend getting jiggy with a guy.
But as RH Reality Check points out, the real danger of this law falls to people who actually are sex workers. It pushes them to abandon safe sex techniques, putting their own health at risk as well as that of the general population. Add to this the fear of arrest or harassment that keeps sex workers from seeking health care, and you have a recipe for disaster. Everybody should know by now that the nation's capital has a rampant problem with HIV/AIDS; this backwards law contributes to its spread (at three times the rate that characterizes a severe epidemic). It's not like you can expect the johns to bring their own rubbers.
This law prioritizes making commercial areas look clean and pretty lady-free, not protecting the public's health. But the root of the problem isn't this one law: it's the criminalization of sex work. If you want to criminalize something, stick to pimping -- after all, many of these women have been trafficked unwillingly and subjected to violence. If they weren't so afraid of being arrested for stepping forward to condemn their pimps, we'd have a better chance of finding the true criminals in this situation.

2010!!! Lookin Good, So Far.

2010-01-03T13:34:00.004-05:00

A gorgeous sunset over Leesburg, Virginia, 1/2/2010.

Wishing everyone the merriest of new years!

Happy NYE, Bitches!!!

2009-12-31T13:56:00.000-05:00

Just wanting to wish you beloved fellow bloggers out there an outstanding new year's eve tonight...Party your asses off, because I don't know about you all, but I am damn glad to be saying goodbye to 2009! Be safe and see you in 2010. I just hope the DJ plays my jam tonight....

A True Travesty...

2009-12-22T15:42:00.000-05:00

How sad to see....a vivid sign of our economic times when a snowman is forced to stand on the corner with the rest of the jobless. Tragic!

Holiday Groovin'

2009-12-17T12:34:00.001-05:00

Most of us will be celebrating the holidays with multiple parties, get-togethers, and the ever popular office shin-digs. So, when the music kicks up and the dance floors are a sea of red, green, sequins, and those really bad holiday sweaters, don't be the only wallflower. What's this? You don't have any moves to impress your boss with? Fear not! Here are a few cool moves from the pros who knew what it meant to "drop it like it's hot".

When I see this...my feet just have to move!

Love is In the Air....

2009-12-08T16:30:00.002-05:00

You farted in Trader Joe's - m4w
Date: 2009-12-04, 11:19AM EST
Reply To This Post

You were the tall brunette with the near perfect body that farted in the bread section last night. I was the tall guy next to you that looked over and asked, "Was that you?" You quickly replied "No...Wasn't me!" You almost seemed insulted I would ask. As the stink grew you continued to deny your flatulence, but it was evident. I tried to get rid of the stench by waving 2 loafs of Ciabatta bread. You proceeded to storm off in an angry manner. You are beautiful and even if you are a liar and fart like a Clydesdale, I'd love to meet up sometime.

* Location: Danbury, CT
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1494504262

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas!

2009-12-06T04:03:00.001-05:00

Wow....I was surprised with our first snow of the season this morning. I do love a white Christmas, except for when it turns brown, or yellow in some patches in the dog field across the way. ;)

CUTEness Overload

2009-12-06T03:55:00.001-05:00

This kitty is soooo cute that I don't even pay attention to how annoying that woman's voice is in the video.

Shake it ....don't break it!

2009-12-03T17:20:00.003-05:00

Hey! That's the same exercise my trainer makes me do, but he never showed me any weight to use. Hmmm...

I have to go with the remix though to get my shake on

Damn That Facebook!!

2009-11-30T16:09:00.004-05:00

My questions is this.... what kind of health benefits does this woman have that she can not work for a year and be paid for it all because she is "down in the dumps"?!? I want her healthcare plan! I would just be a bit smarter about posting my male dancing photos online OR maybe not friending my boss and/or insurance representative on my Facebook page. Thinkin outside of the box, I say. :P

Facebook photos could be hazardous to your health benefits

November 24, 2009 | 9:00 pm

A Quebec woman says her sick-leave payments were cut off because of photos posted on her Facebook page showing her at a Chippendale's show and other events, according to the CBC broadcast network. Nathalie Blanchard, 29, was on leave from her job at IBM for the last year and a half because of a diagnosis of major depression. When the payments suddenly stopped recently, she called her employer's insurance company to find out why. In an interview with the CBC, Blanchard said she was told "I'm available to work because of Facebook."
She said the insurance company representative described photos on her Facebook page that showed her at her birthday party, on vacation and at the all-male revue. The company stripped her of her benefits, saying the photos were evidence she was no longer depressed.
Blanchard didn't deny the existence of the photos, but she said they were not a true indication that she had been cured. "In the moment I'm happy," she said in the interview, "but before and after I have the same problems."
She also said her doctor had advised her to have nights out with friends to help her forget her problems. Blanchard is fighting the cutting off of her benefits, and to that end has filed a civil suit in Quebec Superior Court.
Insurer Manulife declined to comment on the case, but in a statement to the CBC it said, "We would not deny or terminate a valid claim solely based on information published on websites such as Facebook."
-- David Colker

I'll Sue You, Vegas, for Showing Me a Good Time!

2009-11-24T10:43:00.002-05:00

Is there no limit to what you can sue for nowadays? Let's also sue Vegas for supplying unlimited food buffets for $5, contributing to the expanding waistline of America. Hell! Sue for the continuous hot, dry weather that would clearly cause skin dryness. I mean, My God! How has Vegas and it's many Dens of Sin they call "casinos" been allowed to corrupt people lives with fun all these years?!? It must stop! If you ask me, I think the tourists need to be sued for the ridiculous fashion crimes displayed that I had to witness on my Vegas trip...for THAT was the true crime in Sin City.

Travel News

Gambler Sues Caesars Palace for "Milking" Him

A Las Vegas gambler who lost $112 million in a year is suing casino Caesars Palace, claiming the staff took advantage of him by supplying him with alcohol and drugs.

Terry Watanabe 52, said he lived at Caesars Palace for six months, gambling nonstop on the roulette wheel and slot machines, a story by the Telegraph reported. After a losing streak and running up around $15 million in debt, he was charged with theft, the story said. Watanabe has pleaded not guilty and filed a counter-suit against the parent company Harrah's for fraud, breach of contract, conspiracy and negligence, the story said.

Watanabe also alleges that casino staff gave him prescription painkillers and an unlimited alcoholic beverages, which "rendered him utterly intoxicated and unfit to gamble," the story said. Harrah's denies any wrong doing, and they stand by their long history of "responsible and ethical practices," the story said.

Quick Survery....

2009-11-11T18:29:00.001-05:00

Is it too soon to put up my Christmas tree? Usually I wait til December, but I just bought a new one....and I think I'm too lazy to put it up in the attic, only to take it back down in a few weeks. I don't want to be like the marketing morons at the malls who cram Christmas down your throat while you are simply trying to shop for that cute yet slutty Halloween costume. I, also, don't want to treat Thanksgiving like the red-headed step-child and not give it recognition. Hmm....what to do?....what to do?

Sometimes, Death is appropriate....

2009-11-10T18:25:00.002-05:00

Having lived in the Northern Virginia/DC area and only a few miles from where one of the victims was shot and killed, I remember the terror people, including myself, felt during that time.....afraid to pump their gas, or walk in public view, or how the stations hung up sheets around the gas pumps for the protection of their customers. This man, along with Malvo, were terrorists who not only terrorized their victims and the victim's families, but terrorized a whole metropolitan, changing the way people lived their daily lives during their reign. As far as I am concerned, death is appropriate here.

DC sniper's Muhammad's execution set for tonight

By DENA POTTER, Associated Press Writer Dena Potter, Associated Press Writer – 57 mins ago

RICHMOND, Va. – Virginia's governor refused to spare the life of John Allen Muhammadand cleared the way for his execution Tuesday night for the sniperattacks in 2002 that left 10 dead and spread such fear people wereafraid to go shopping, cut grass or pump gas.The three-week killing spreein Virginia, Maryland and Washington, D.C., was carried out with ateenage accomplice who is serving life in prison without parole.Muhammad, 48, was to die by injection at 9 p.m. after he exhausted hiscourt appeals and Gov. Tim Kaine denied clemency.Muhammad's attorneys had asked Kaine to commute his sentence to life in prison because they said he was severely mentally ill."Ithink crimes that are this horrible, you just can't understand them,you can't explain them," said Kaine, a Democrat known for carefullyconsidering death penalty cases. "They completely dwarf your ability to look into the life of a person who would do something like this and understand why."Muhammad was sentenced to death for killing Dean Harold Meyers at a gas station in northern Virginia. He and his accomplice, Lee Boyd Malvo, also were suspected of fatal shootings in Alabama, Arizona, Louisiana and Washington state.Prosecutorschose to put Muhammad and Malvo on trial in Virginia first because ofthe state's willingness to execute killers. He and Malvo were alsoconvicted of six other murders in Maryland and both were sentenced tosix life terms.The death penalty was laterruled out for Malvo because the U.S. Supreme Court barred the executionof juveniles, who was 17 during the killing spree.Themotive for the shootings in the nation's capital region remains murky.Malvo said Muhammad wanted to use the plot to extort $10 million fromthe government to set up a camp in Canada where homeless children wouldbe trained as terrorists. But Muhammad's ex-wife has said she believesthe attacks were a smoke screen for his plan to kill her and regaincustody of their three children.Muhammad hasnever testified or explained why he directed the attacks thatterrorized the Washington region, with victims gunned down while doingeveryday chores. People stayed indoors, and those who had to go outsideweaved as they walked or bobbed their heads to make themselves less ofa target.The terror ended Oct. 24, 2002, whenpolice captured Muhammad and Malvo as they slept at a Maryland reststop in a car they had outfitted so a shooter could hide in the trunkand fire through a hole in the body of the vehicle.Muhammad had been in and out of the military since he graduated from high school in Louisiana and entered the National Guard. A convert to Islam, John Allen Williams would later change his name to Muhammad.Hejoined the Army in 1985 and trained in Washington state as a combatengineer. He did not take special sniper training but earned an expertrating in the M-16 rifle — the military cousin of the .223-caliberBushmaster rifle used in the sniper shootings.However,his life was full of failure. He was twice divorced, and after servingin the first Iraq war, he could never find financial stability.Heopened a karate school but it didn't last; neither did his car repairshop. The man who looked for self-discipline in exercise and Islamfound himself living in a homeless shelter in 2001 and a few monthslater was accused of shoplifting food.On Tuesday, Muhammad met with immediate family members but did not have a spiritual adviser, Virginia Department of Corrections spokesman Larry Traylor said.The families of those killed were ready for execution day.CheryllWitz was one of several victims' relatives who planned to watch theexecution. Malvo confessed that, at Muhammad's direction, he shot herfather, Jerry Taylor, on a Tucson, Ariz., golf course in March 2002."He basically watched my dad breathe his last breath," Witz said. "Why shouldn't I watch his last breath?"Death penalty opponents planned vigils across the state, and some were headed for Jarratt, about an hour south of Richmond, for the execution at Greensville Correctional Center.Beth Panilaitis, executive director of Virginians for Alternatives to the Death Penalty, said those who planned to protest understand the fear that gripped the community, and the nation, during the attacks."The greater metro area and the citizens of Virginia have been safefrom this crime for seven years," Panilaitis said. "Incarceration hasworked and life without the possibility of parole has and will continueto keep the people of Virginia safe."Kaine, Virginia's first Roman Catholic governor, has openly expressed his faith-based opposition to capital punishment, but promised as a candidate in 2005 that he would carry out Virginia's death penalty law despite his beliefs.

In September, Kaine delayed the October execution of a former
Army intelligence worker from Maryland convicted of killing a northern
Virginia couple, saying he needed more time to consider the case. That
execution is scheduled for next week.

OdLibby*s is Born!

2009-11-10T14:14:00.004-05:00

It started off as a simple hobby of jewelry making to de-stress at home, but has recently turned into the beginnings of a (side) cash cow. At the suggestions of my friends and family, I have begun to sell some of my pieces, and I am pleased that so many have shown their approval to my work. Therefore, OdLibby*s has been born, created from the names of my beloved(s), Odysey and Liberty, who have shown their support by sitting at my feet under the dining room table while I work. Each one of my pieces is handcrafted by myself, and given a name to distinguish their unique quality. I am a total magpie when it comes to shiny, sparkly things, so it has been only natural that I find enjoyment in creating "baubles" with my own hands. :) I find inspiration from many different things that I come across in this world from nature, culture, history, or the arts...from the simple to the exotic. I think it is awesome that I can share with others, while making a little cash in the process. Who wouldn't love that? ;) I plan on posting some of my work here in the hopes of inspiring others. Definitely, share your comments. :)

Color ChicChickory Pretty...

2009-11-10T12:34:00.001-05:00

Check out my new digs! I noticed a fellow blogger's page and thought, Hmm...how nice. So, did a little bit of re-decorating myself. Oh... the many ways to waste time at work. ;)

Typical Man

2009-11-09T14:51:00.003-05:00

Even at the young age of 4 years, my nephew cannot hide his disdain for how long my sisters, mom and I can look at one aisle of items in the Walmart Christmas Dept. :)

What Have I Been Up Too?

2009-11-09T11:11:00.004-05:00

Okay...so I took some time away from my therapeutic blogging to waste time and catch up with old friends on Facebook. Seems to be a virtual high school reunion on that site...but all in all, some good times reminiscing. HOWEVER...I have missed my quirky fellow bloggers that I so enjoyed whittling the work hours away with. :) I have lots of "catch-up" reading to do too because from what I can see so far I have been missing pregnancies, more fabulous Paris life, never-ending photoshop madness, slacking on my SlackerChic fix, and the always fulfilling TastyCakes...oh how I've missed you guys!

That Time at the Pond....

2009-06-04T15:38:00.011-04:00

Place: Walney Pond
Time: at Dusk....best time to go, cuz the critters come out. :)

Does this remind anyone else of Monet's Water Lilly Pool?

It's hard to tell here, but the black object in the water is a rather large beaver chewing on something he found very tasty. I was only two feet away from him, and he didn't seem to mind me at all.

Night approaches

This tree had something to say

My assistant and companion during this little excursion, my nephew, Madden. (Yes, the cheeks are real)

More reflections.... sometimes the most special places are within walking distance.

Most disturbing sex toy....part two

2009-06-02T18:30:00.005-04:00

The Canned Vagina

Has society really become THIS disposable?
Gives a whole new meaning to the "love 'em, and leave 'em" saying.

Most disturbing sex toy....part one

2009-06-02T18:24:00.004-04:00

The ever popular kid's toy, the Space Hopper, meets horny 30-something yr old.....as in, where can I find one!?!

Never a shortage

2009-06-02T15:27:00.004-04:00

....and it shall be called, The Ewww Manchu.

Dude...we are going to get so much pussy tonight!

Love abounds thru lyrical sentiment.....

2009-05-15T14:00:00.003-04:00

Every now and then a love song comes around destined to be a timeless classic loved by generation after generation......

Get These People Some Chicken!!!

2009-04-28T15:35:00.002-04:00

....What do you mean THESE people???

I have to laugh at the co-anchor who is clearly trying not too.

I title this one....WTF? Marketing

2009-04-26T15:24:00.013-04:00

Generally, I think the Axe commercials are cute and

clever, but this one definitely left me bewildered.

Just what exactly does it promote? Cannibalism?

Self Mutilation? Anything but deodorant, it appears.

I'm a bit grossed out at the whole dipping of fruit into his navel, but I must admit I have wanted to take a bite out of a fine piece of chocolate ass before. Dare I ask.....

just what is this guy pouring into those girls cups?

Chocolate piss?

You know the marketing crew was fighting the urge

to shamelessly plug the whole "Dick in a Box" craze

brought on by JT and Samberg.

Worst Horror Movie Monster Ever!

2009-04-26T15:01:00.003-04:00

How could anyone think these adorable furballs with their cute oversized feet and twitching noses could ever be terrifying? I'd say a look into that woman's dental work (or lack thereof) was the most terrifying part of that whole clip. Guess there is a shortage of actors with good teeth in low income horror.

I am SOOOO not good at this.

2009-04-21T01:33:00.011-04:00

Do you ever find yourself sitting at your desk bored to bat shit wondering how you can make those work hours fly by? Well....fret no longer! Why not try a game of.....

GUESS HER MUFF!!

Damn, those bill collectors! They just don't give up!

2009-03-17T01:47:00.005-04:00

Deadbeat: Man dead for 450 years gets TV bill

Aaron Crowe

A German mathematician who died 450 years ago was sent a letter demanding he pay long-overdue TV license fees, according to a Reuters story.

The bill from Germany's GEZ broadcast fee collection office went to the last home address of Adam Ries, an algebra expert who bought the house in 1525. A club in his honor was set up at the home 400 years later.

The head of the club returned the letter to GEZ, explaining that Ries died in 1559, centuries before the invention of television and radio. She received another reminder a few weeks later.

Gather the Girls...It's time for Movie Night!!

2009-03-09T15:03:00.003-04:00

Attention Ladies! 3 hours of blue penis in theaters now!! Yes, that's correct. The movie, Watchmen, came out this past weekend, and Billy Crudup’s full frontal, cerulean blue superhero character, named Dr. Manhattan, is only part of the distracting weirdness. Here was one movie-goer's review....

"There is indeed shitloads of blue wang. And it's huge. In the comic book, it's very average, and uncut, but the film is completely the opposite. Massive and circumcised. Given that it's digital, was it Crudup or his agent that insisted on the impressive cut cock?"

All I can say is that it's about time they came out with a "Girlie" movie that I could actually sit through and enjoy!

Over 20 years, and it's healing powers still abound.

2009-02-27T16:42:00.004-05:00

In these days of my own, personal economic uncertainties such as seeing my parents work so long and hard only to lose almost half of their 401K the very year they have turned 65, to getting told by my boss, this week, to bring in cash for the company or lay off some of my staff, I find myself pressing replay on one of the best songs written from one of the best bands on Earth. I love this video version of U2 at Live Aid 1985 despite the bad quality of the video, the 2 second switch to some cartoon, or even Bono's sexy ridiculous 80's hair because, truly, all I really want to do is slow dance with Bono amidst thousands of people to the melody of "Bad". Then I will know it will all be well again.

You almost had me fooled

2009-02-27T16:03:00.004-05:00

Despite the fact that this video is pretty interesting, I was almost convinced of the credibility of zoologist beauty, Miss Rita Mehta until she remarked on the "amazing innovation in feeding behavior in fishes". Fishes? Was I taught wrong cuz I believe the plural term of fish is just fish. She does seem to be well-versed in the technique of oral suction, however.

Found my new Ringtone!

2009-02-25T00:31:00.000-05:00

Un-beWEAVEable!

2009-02-20T14:00:00.002-05:00

Talk about some serious helmet head. This girl's weave might be pretty bad...but more like badass, Dirty Hairy, badass! Get it!?! Okay...I'll stop with the bad hair puns now.

Blankie/Cult Robe + Beer = Good Times!!

2009-02-20T00:45:00.012-05:00

I don't know about you guys, but this is AWESOME! Where do I sign???

S n u g g i e P u b

C r a w l

W a s h i n g t o n ,
D C

Attend the First-Ever Snuggie™ Pub Crawl in Washington, DC

In response to the stunning public embrace of the warm and cuddly Snuggie™, the SnuggiePubCrawl.com Team is hosting the first-ever Snuggie™ Pub Crawl in Washington, DC. Even though it's just a blanket with sleeves, we're sure that you'll enjoy a winter evening spent drinking with friends and the Snuggie™.

Date: Still TBD. Enter your emaill address below to receive additional information.

Sign Up For The Snuggie™ Pub Crawl:
Enter you email address if you're interested in attending the Snuggie™ Pub Crawl (We don't share email addresses, submit with confidence) Email: 341 pub crawlers are registered so far.

Good wholesome entertainment for the Chillens.

2009-02-06T14:59:00.004-05:00

Now I understand why when I asked my 3 yr old nephew to hand me something, he replied with..."Grab that shit , it's Yours, Bitch!"

Mr Rogers would turn in his grave!

Eye Wide Shut

2009-02-06T14:11:00.002-05:00

Snuggies......latest warm cuddly blanket with arms rage? Or weird introduction to some sadistic cult?!? Stay away from the Koolaid!

All the Single Ladies!

2009-02-05T12:50:00.005-05:00

FIERCE!

Frankly, I don't understand how they are still single?!

Killing the Blues...Part Deux

2009-02-05T11:25:00.004-05:00

Okay...this song makes the Winter Blahs feel like Disney Land. Forget the blues...more like a suicide watch. However, I bet it would sound much better after a few hits on the ganja, but then again, what wouldn't? Hmm...guess Shaft down below does know the cure!

Killing the Blues

2009-02-05T11:04:00.003-05:00

Biting winds... Slippery Ice and Snow... 18 degrees days... Dry, itchy pale skin...Cold, painful nipples that could cut glass...and stuck in the house for months!

Got the Winter Blahs? Well, this guy has got the cure!!

The World is Stuck on Stupid.

2009-01-30T12:47:00.009-05:00

Don't believe me? Well, if you aren't convinced, then go ahead and scroll down.....

Karma is a bitch!

....And we wonder why our economy is bad?

Maybe they should look in the Civil War computer archives to see where their last location was logged.

What did they think it was? A fancy P.O.D. storage unit?

Thank God I read this! I was just about to sprinkle my Cream of Wheat with some rat poison.

Damn! They are good!!

Well, that's a relief! I was concerned whether or not I was still at risk of becoming another teen pregnancy statistic.

Actually, I'd like to see just how he did that.

Don't Call It a Comeback!!

2009-01-30T12:04:00.003-05:00

Yeah, so I'd like to say that I've been gone on a tropical hiatus with tan, toned, and oiled up natives to keep me company, but alas, that is not the case. The reality being that I was just without internet for awhile, and unable to stalk my favorite blogspots. Lord! The withdrawls were harsh, but now I'm back and got some catching up to do.

Can't Get Gnome Respect!

2009-01-05T14:45:00.005-05:00

A new sighting of South America's 'creepy gnome' has caused panic among locals after a group of youngsters claimed a 'midget monster' ran towards them at night.

The teens – who recorded footage of the freaky being on their mobile phone – said they are now too terrified to go out at night.

Footage from last March's sighting....

Latest sighting....

I have to ask....what is everyone so freaked out about? What part of that footage makes this a 'terrorizing monster' story? Don't they know that it's just the Travelocity Gnome doing his research on the tourist spots of Argentina? Let the gnome work in peace, people!

Brilliance!

2009-01-02T14:15:00.002-05:00

New Year's Resolution #1...Don't say anything stupid.

2008-12-31T13:25:00.008-05:00

When asked how he would rule the world, Lil Wayne replies.....

"First of all, I already know, men would be able to marry however many women they want. School would not be optional. It would be mandatory. Because I do not like unintelligent people – it's a pet peeve. If you dumb, you not around me. Other than that, did I mention the men would be able to marry women? Ain't no limit on that."

If you dumb? Ain't no limit? That actually sounds like the title of Ms. Spears next album. Well, if the end of the world does come about and we find ourselves under the leadership of Lil Wayne, I hope one of those many wives he acquires is a proper English and Grammar teacher. First grade level would be an excellent place to start. ;)

Best Christmas commercial ever!!

2008-12-24T14:40:00.003-05:00

Don't forget to wrap the goods, kiddies! Santa's watching!

Best Christmas movie ever!!

2008-12-24T14:29:00.004-05:00

I don't care what people say...this movie NEVER gets old with me.

Best Christmas song ever!

2008-12-24T14:12:00.003-05:00

Call me simple but this one still makes me giggle like I'm in junior high...

Give some happiness this Christmas...Pass this on.

2008-12-22T13:30:00.009-05:00

I received this via email from a dear friend. It is a legitimate charity, and very worthwhile. If still skeptical, check out Snopes.com's opinion on the matter....

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/medical/garman.asp

This little girl's wish this holiday season is to receive as many cards as possible. In a time when materialism seems to prevail over any goodness, let's take the time to bring some cheer to someone who is appreciating everything Life has to give with numbered breaths. Here is a letter from her Aunt asking everyone to send a card, so SEND A CARD for Hannah!!

Hannah's last Christmas

This is the true story of my 5-yr old 2nd cousin, Hannah Garman, who was diagnosed with glioblastoma multiforme, a rare and incurable brain tumor. She has been given 12 weeks to live and is currently in her 7th week. She was going to be the flower girl in our wedding in May, but was diagnosed a week after we asked her to be the flower girl. This is especially sad because her mother died 2 yrs ago from breast cancer.

Right now, she has lost most of her motor skills. She is confined to bed and cannot really do anything, or play with the gifts she is getting from people, but she LOVES getting cards - she has gotten so many from people she does not know and just loves to have grandma read about the people who send them and see their pictures and is so proud of all her cards. Her room is just filled with cards.

When asked what she wants for Christmas she said she wants to see how many Christmas cards she can get. Many people have passed this wish along to their churches, prayer groups, friends and family. There are school groups where children are making her cards. People are including pictures so she can see who it is that is sending her the card.

If you would like to help with her wish, you can send a card to her at:
Hannah Garma
704 Orchard Rd
Lititz, PA 17543

THANKS! Feel free to pass this along to your own prayer group, church, school, etc. Let's see if we can have the cards coming in big postal bags for her this Christmas, since it will be her last holiday.

P.S. You can also send my email to anyone you forward this to, if they have
questions. sheripie@hotmail.com

Read more about Hannah, see pics, stay updated on her progress at...
http://www. caringbridge. org/visit/hannahgarman

Gonna Party cuz it's MY Birthday....

2008-12-20T14:03:00.000-05:00

Dancing Chameleon

Why Cats are Cool.

2008-12-19T19:36:00.000-05:00

And Yet, Another Great Christmas Gift Idea....

2008-12-17T16:47:00.007-05:00

This is what happens when you leave Men alone with your things.

Typically, these twat plugs are like kryptonite for the male species, but here we see innovation at it's most creative.

If you are craving more tampon creativity, check out this website's selection.
http://www.tamponcrafts.com/

For Those of You Who are Wishing for a White Christmas...

2008-12-16T14:14:00.004-05:00

Beware of what you wish for!

What Not to get Your Kid for Christmas.....

2008-12-15T16:46:00.009-05:00

Country: Mexico
Product Code: YMCA
Product Name: YMCA Shower Box, Mexico
Price: $17.00 (Approx. 227 pesos)
Size: 10x6cm
(2.54cm = 1 inch)

Something tells me that this one will not be the "Hot Toy of the Holiday Season", and I doubt there will be threat of trampling to death or being shot for this one of kind find. In fact, I find a few things interesting about this toy which hails from South 'o the Border....that being Mexico, mind you, and not that tourist-trap, roach haven, truck stop on interstate 95. Although, I bet they carry this there as well which would be even more convenient for anyone on the East Coast still looking for that perfect gift that no one knew they wanted. I've always had an inner cringe for any type of "communal" bathing unless the people are hot, of course, but I think what is even more curious is the way that male clay figure has that female clay figure almost pinned in the corner...trapped and left defenseless to his dark and dirty advances. OR...maybe what we see here is just a couple of swingers enjoying a afternoon delight in the community shower of YMCA? And why are the ladies nipples so hard and black? Did the shower run out of hot water again? This toy does seem to promote the imagination. All this time, I thought YMCA's were just community centers filled with latch-key kids, after-school programs, and run-down gym equipment. Who knew?

Ninja Skillz....He haz Dem!

2008-12-15T11:35:00.001-05:00

He may not be the most popular guy around, but you gotta admit, He does have some quick reflexes.

Beauty Lost an Icon today....

2008-12-12T10:31:00.003-05:00

RIP, Ms. Page.

I took the challenge and I failed miserably.

2008-12-11T17:54:00.004-05:00

So, I am channel surfing one Saturday afternoon, and I come across this sneak peek at a new show called, The Locator, with Troy Dunn. In the commercial, it stated that this show will tug at the heart strings, and it WILL make the tears flow. Well! That sounded like a challenge to me if I ever did hear one! Except for when animals are concerned, I am not one to let the waterworks flow for any drama....in fact, I'm usually the last one to let my emotions show. So, I was determined to watch this show and prove it wrong on the crying at the big reveal part.

Needless to say, I failed....failed miserably, in fact. At the point of the show when Troy reveals the long lost loved one to those who were searching for years and years to no avail, I get all misty-eyed, tears welling up, that stupid happy grin on my face for the joy of reunion being viewed......DAMN YOU, Troy Dunn!!! Damn you and your tear-jerking skills! Luckily, only my dogs saw my sad, sad, diplay, otherwise, my reputation as a cold-hearted bitch would be ruined!

Christmas Classics.....They just don't make em like this anymore.

2008-12-08T16:08:00.003-05:00

If you prefer alot of cheese and AquaNet with your Christmas goodies, then you will love this little collection of 80's at it's best...or worst. Hey, nothing will give you that warm and fuzzy Christmas feeling like festive, red leotard wedgies, and perverted Uncle Santas.

OMG!!!! I need to bitch!!

2008-12-03T11:26:00.006-05:00

Not too long ago, I read an article about how scientists, physicians, disease-control and government officials were debating on who in the world's population should be considered "priority" in the event of a massive viral catastrophe that could wipe out the earth's population. Somewhere in the world today, there is a group of people deciding on who will be allowed to receive a vaccination and who will be considered "expendable"....the "Trim the Fat" population, if you will.

For example, in the article, it described how people who were scholars, doctors, scientists, etc. would be part of the elite group, and elderly folks (age 55 and up) would be last on the list for the vaccine if shortages were present. First of all, I have serious issues with anyone, and I mean ANYONE, Mrs. Sarah Palin, who thinks they can play God....but that is a totally different soap box. Another issue, Another day. Let me stay on track here. No, what I would like to rant about, or rather suggest is another group of people who should be considered for the list of "expendables" in the event of world annihilation. My suggestion would be for those people who insist on being on their cellphones while driving in the fast lane going about 15 miles BELOW the speed limit, and refuse to just pull the fuck over! Yes, I said it! There are few people who can instill a rage in me like a shaken bag of wasps....people who judge others, people who are cruel to animals (Sarah Palin), AND idiots on their mother-freakin cellphones during rush hour!!! I mean, seriously, People, Get OFF the F***ing Phone!!!

So, to those know-it-all scientists, lay off the elderly, and by the way, when did 55 yrs old become "elderly"? Why eliminate an age group that can give us warmth, wisdom, money for ice cream on our birthdays, and fabulous baked goods? Instead, clear the world of inconsiderate morons who cause risk of accident, and potential road rage from women late for work behind them....and while you are at it, throw in those guilty of any animal cruelty (Sarah Palin) to boot. But again, another time for that. I shall now step off my box.

Things that make me say....Ow, Fucker!!!

2008-12-02T15:55:00.003-05:00

It also makes me want to yell, A-D-R-I-A-N!
Roy Jones Jr. took a beating here, and sadly, it was for not. The other guy won by unanimous vote.

A "Feel Good" Story.....for a change.

2008-12-02T13:02:00.004-05:00

I love stories like this. It just builds on my absolute love for animals, and confirms my belief that they deserve much better treatment from mankind than what they currently receive. When stories like people being trampled or shot at stores for material things seem to run rampant in the news during the Christmas season, I prefer to find stories such as Gin, the Dancing Dog, which demonstrates a true friendship and trust. Gin is an amazing dog, but I also think something should be said for his owner's amazing abilities in training. Seriously...I can get my dogs to sit but only when they feel like it OR I have a favorite treat dangling above their heads. So, my hat is off (if I was wearing one) to this girl's patience, ability and compassion for her talented furry friend. Sure, Gin isn't the first to do a moonwalk, but when did we ever see MJ do a moonwalk 360 degrees and then through a woman's legs? NEVER! We all know who's legs MJ prefers.

Don't miss the show!

2008-11-30T23:46:00.004-05:00

LOOK TO SKY FOR SPECTACULAR SIGHT MONDAY NIGHT.....

"Every once in a while, something will appear in the night sky that will attract the attention of even those who normally don't bother looking up. It's likely to be that way on Monday evening, Dec. 1. A slender crescent moon, just 15-percent illuminated, will appear in very close proximity to the two brightest planets in our sky, Venus and Jupiter. On Monday night, the three brightest objects in the night sky -- Jupiter, Venus and the moon -- will line up close together in a spectacular sight, closer than they will appear until 2052."

....And since I doubt I'll be around in 2052 unless they perfect that Cryogenics nonsense, I plan on taking the time to look up and enjoy a natural wonder.

Ah....Christmas is in the Air. What is this world coming too?!?

2008-11-29T11:56:00.007-05:00

Seriously!? Did a crowd of morons really kill someone over holiday deals such as $2 DVD's, $28 vacuum, and Flat screen tv's under $500? Ignorance is NOT bliss.

"POLICE EYE SHOPPERS IN TRAMPLING DEATH AT WALMART....

NEW YORK (Nov. 29) - Police were reviewing video from surveillance cameras in an attempt to identify who trampled to death a Wal-Mart worker after a crowd of post-Thanksgiving shoppers burst through the doors at a suburban store and knocked him down. Other workers were trampled as they tried to rescue the man, and customers stepped over him and became irate when officials said the store was closing because of the death, police and witnesses said. At least four other people, including a woman who was eight months pregnant, were taken to hospitals for observation or minor injuries. The store in Valley Stream on Long Island closed for several hours before reopening.

Police said about 2,000 people were gathered outside the Wal-Mart doors before its 5 a.m. opening at a mall about 20 miles east of Manhattan. The impatient crowd knocked the employee, identified by police as Jdimytai Damour, to the ground as he opened the doors, leaving a metal portion of the frame crumpled like an accordion. "This crowd was out of control," Fleming said. He described the scene as "utter chaos," and said the store didn't have enough security. Dozens of store employees trying to fight their way out to help Damour were also getting trampled by the crowd, Fleming said. Shoppers stepped over the man on the ground and streamed into the store. Damour, 34, of Queens, was taken to a hospital, where he was pronounced dead around 6 a.m., police said. The exact cause of death has not been determined.

A 28-year-old pregnant woman was taken to a hospital, where she and the baby were reported to be OK, said police Sgt. Anthony Repalone. Kimberly Cribbs, who witnessed the stampede, said shoppers were acting like savages. When they were saying they had to leave, that an employee got killed, people were yelling `I've been on line since yesterday morning', she said. 'They kept shopping'."

2008-11-26T15:06:00.004-05:00

Nebraska's 'Butt Bandit' suspect faces charges

"VALENTINE, Neb. -Ten misdemeanor counts have been filed against a man Cherry County authorities believe is the vandal some townspeople have dubbed the "Butt Bandit."

Cherry County Attorney Eric Scott said that on Tuesday he filed nine counts of public indecency and one count of disturbing the peace against 35-year-old Tom Larvie, of Valentine. All are misdemeanors.

Larvie is suspected of leaving greasy, graphic imprints of his naked behind, and sometimes his groin, on the windows of stores, churches and schools in Valentine since the spring of 2007.

The marks were made with lotion or petroleum jelly. Scott said Larvie was caught in the act by police early Wednesday morning. Larvie could not be reached to comment."

However...he did fax over this statement.

This guy better hope he doesn't get any prison time. I can imagine the nickname,"Butt Bandit", would be quite popular with the prison "sisters".

Cuteness Overload!!!

2008-11-26T14:40:00.005-05:00

Please....Stop the cuteness! It's too much!!!! My body is going to explode butterflies and cotton ball nubbins!

Dear Santa, please bring me a chihuahua of my very own.

Quote of the Day...

2008-11-19T13:07:00.008-05:00

"He arrived in Virginia, cocksure and prescient."

Two qualities I like in a man, but sadly I'm 300 years too late.
Actually, the quote was taken from my current read...

Blackbeard : A Tale of Villainy and Murder in Colonial America

by Margaret Hoffman.

I got the chance to meet the author at a arts & crafts show in my hometown this past weekend. Ms. Hoffman preceded to tell me about Blackbeard's vibrant yet viscious personality, life and death. Did you know Blackbeard met his end by being shot, stabbed and ultimately decapitated? Even then, legend has it that his headless body, after being thrown overboard the ship, Adventure, swam around the ship a few times before sinking. Truly, Mr. Blackbeard was an original B.A.M.F. of all B.A.M.F.s! None of that "fru-fru" Jack Sparrow pirate crap!

Recently, Blackbeard's ship, The Queen Anne's Revenge, was found off the coast of North Carolina in relatively good condition. The author was just so chocked full of information that I was compelled to buy her book for the low, low price of $24.95 (about $5 more than what I would have spent at Barnes & Noble). She knew a sucker for history and it's many colorful characters when she saw one.

Another juicy tidbit....It is rumored that after his head spent many days on a pike at the edge of the Hampton River in Virginia to ward off sea dogs and other lowly pirates of their evil ways, his skull became a drinking chalice. I say, me hearty, what better way to go for the most notorious pirate ever known?!

Fortuitous Photo-Op Part 4

2008-11-18T15:19:00.006-05:00

Do you ever get that feeling like you are being watched?

Genius in the Making

2008-11-18T15:01:00.006-05:00

My nephew... Child protegy. Future Man of the Year.

Could Mozart or Beethoven have played with such eloquence in a adorable Baby Duck suit? I think not!!

Times are Tough!

2008-11-07T12:33:00.005-05:00

You can't even proclaim that this economy is for the birds. Apparently, the feathered community is dealing with hard times like the rest of us.

"A seagull in Marinette, WI has developed the habit of stealing Doritos from a neighborhood convenience store.

The seagull waits until the Manager isn't looking, and then walks into the store and grabs a snack-size bag of cheese Doritos.

Once outside, the bag gets ripped open and shared by other birds.

The seagull's shoplifting started early this month when he first swooped into the store in Marinette, WI, and helped himself to a bag of Doritos.. Since then, he's become a regular. He always takes the same type of chips.

The Manager thinks it's great because people are coming to watch the feathered thief make the daily grab and run, and that's good for business, and especially since customers have begun paying for the seagull's stolen bags of Doritos because they think it's so funny. However, the Manager did say, 'This is Wisconsin, and if that seagull starts to grab a 6-pac to go along with the Doritos, I may have to put a stop to it.' "

Free Toothpicks

2008-07-28T13:21:00.005-04:00

This summer, Northern Virginia has had some crazy unusual weather and natural occurrences...from tornadoes, severe storms, cool weather in July, and even a earthquake. Should we blame Global warming? Or maybe it's the End of Times? Either way...sure makes for some interesting photo opportunities.

Yesterday, we had another severe storm pass through my neighborhood. They don't last very long, but they sure make a mess of the yard with tree limbs, and leaves blown all over the place. This particular storm brought on some harsh lightning, and one of the trees in the front got struck. Sounded like a shotgun, and I was shocked to see the tree still standing...but the battle scars were left. The force of the lightning blew off a 5 in wide strip of bark from the very top branch, down to the tree's roots. Splinters of bark were all over the place like it had exploded out. I found some pieces of bark as far as 20 feet from the tree, and some strips of bark as long as four feet like the tree had been peeled. It made for an interesting Sunday afternoon, so wanted to share with anyone curious.

Toothpicks, Anyone?

WTF?!? Time to Vent!!!

2008-07-09T18:10:00.004-04:00

NOTHING is safe...

Between the hours of 12:00 am and 8:00 am, my yard was severely vandalized in a manor that most would only read about in a Martha Sterwart horror story. One, innocently glowing gazing ball was brutally abducted without care or concern for those to whom it belonged. That's right! Some inconsiderate FUCKER decided to help himself to my recently purchased, solar powered, light up at night, changing in three colors of blue, red and green, totally awesome gazing ball last night....TAKEN right out of my flower bed! I was so excited to finally receive it on Monday. Placed it in my flower bed Monday night, and by Wednesday morning, it's gone! I'm pissed!! Who steals a fucking garden ornament!?! I am cruising my neighborhood tonight, and the first gazing ball I see that resembles MY gazing ball, I'm taking it! I might even steal a gnome, a bird bath or two. Dammit, people!! Stay the fuck out of my yard!

**Okay...I apologize for the language. I feel better now, and I am searching at this very moment for a chocolate chip cookie to make it all right with the world again.**

IN LOVING MEMORY... you are missed.

Chased by a Rainbow

2008-07-08T11:24:00.004-04:00

I've heard the expression..."chase the rainbow", but this particular one was chasing me down Interstate 66 during rush hour traffic.

I was Momma Grackle for a Day

2008-06-03T17:40:00.010-04:00

Memorial weekend 2008....as I was strolling through the field where I walk my dogs on a daily basis, I almost stepped on this little tuft of gray matter hidden in the grass. As I look closer, it popped it's little bald head up and squawked, FEED ME!

It was this little guy. A Grackle nestling that had fallen from his/her (never could figure it out) nest about 15 feet straight up, so I couldn't put it back in the nest. Being the huge animal lover that I am, there was no way I could just leave the poor little baby there all alone in the grass. She was already having a bad hair day, so falling out of the nest did not make the day any better.

No wildlife re-habilitators called me back since it was a holiday weekend, and I knew the poor baby wouldn't last the night alone. So... Seymour (what I called her because I was reminded of that flower in "Little Shop of Horrors" crying Feed Me!) came home with me, and I became Momma Grackle for a day. I found myself a little box, stuffed in some toilet paper (Charmin, of course), and Wallah! The perfect little nest.

Seymour was very alert and quite the little chatterbox. Every time I would walk near the box, she would assume I was momma returned with a nice juicy regurgitated worm or some other nasty stuff. I was NOT about to chew up some worms! No worries, though. Come to find out, I read online that I could feed her wet, softened bits of dog food kibble, and THAT I had plenty of. Seymour gobbled it up like it was the best meal a Grackle could have, and I felt very proud to accomplished my momma bird skills with such success. Seymour was content till morning when the rehabilitator finally gave me a call telling me to bring my baby on over. She would take care of her until she was able to be set back out in the world. It felt good to not turn my head and think...Oh, it's nature's way. Screw that! I believe we as human beings should help out anyone or anything that needs it when their lives cross paths with ours. Maybe there was a reason for us being there at the right time to help. Either way, Seymour is happy and healthy, and moving on. Who knows...maybe one day she will be come back and visit with all the other squawking neighborhood Grackles who eat up all the seeds in my bird feeders. *wink*

A face only a mother could love. Check out the feet on this little one! Talk about "growing into". Kinda reminds me of "Salad Fingers".....Helloooo! *laughs*

Just shoot Me!

2008-06-03T13:48:00.010-04:00

What is the deal!?! I'm beginning to wonder if turning mid-30's is a starting point to all the "aches" and "pains" that come with growing older? Little annoyances keep occurring with my body lately, and I'm not liking it very much at all! Besides the fact that my left ankle is STILL swelling from a fall that occurred over two months ago (see previous LifeCall? blog posted), I woke up this morning with a painful knot on my left wrist....right where you can find the pulse. WTF?!? Did I fight ninjas in my dream last night? Is this the start of Carpal Tunnel from ten years of working at a computer? Or am I just falling apart and need to be taken out back and shot like a losing show pony!? Fortunately, I do have the luxury of working with doctors, so I asked one today to give me his diagnosis on this mysterious knot. He proceeds to tell me that it could be a Ganglion Cyst (a.k.a. a Bible Bump) which results from "performing repetitive and strenuous activity with the wrist". Now if I was a left-handed man, this could possibly be an embarassing moment, but I am right-handed and female. I have no idea what stenuous activity I have been performing. The doctor then proceeded to tell me that the best way to take care of this without surgery is to whack it with a huge heavy book. Excuse me?! Is this medicine at it's best? This explains why it is also known as the Bible Bump. For most households, back in the day, the heaviest book in the home was the family Bible. Therefore, it was being used most often to rid the suffering sinner of their tumor with one heavenly blow. I think I will take my chances and just deal with the pain before allowing myself to be "whacked" in the name of the Lord.

My Wrist :(

Internet example of the Bible Bump

In Case You Were Wondering....

2008-05-30T16:53:00.005-04:00

A new and creative way to peel that pesky banana.

Oh Boy...am I Hungry!

2008-05-23T16:25:00.003-04:00

Like Spanky....I LOVE me some Chocklate Clake!

Optical Dal-lusion

2008-05-23T15:14:00.008-04:00

My dal, Odysey....She's the Master of Disguise.

Fortuitous Photo-Op Part 4

2008-05-01T22:52:00.010-04:00

waking moment.....

Damn! That Lightning is some powerful Sh*T!!!

2008-04-24T17:34:00.004-04:00

Spring has Sprung!!

2008-04-09T15:39:00.006-04:00

Almost like a Thomas Kinkade painting

First Spring for the new kid on the block

Even the weeds are beautiful in Spring

Fortuitous Photo-Op Part 3

2008-04-07T01:32:00.002-04:00

By the looks of the yellow paint, someone did not listen.

Baubles, Baubles and More Baubles....

2008-03-29T14:28:00.001-04:00

I constantly hear, "Chickory, you LOVE the baubles!" Yes, I can be a bit of a Magpie when it comes to shiny, sparkly, pretty things, but a bauble might mean something completely different to someone else. According to the Wikipedia, the definition of a bauble is a stick with a weight attached, used for weighing. Nothing glamorous about that at all! So, I decide to "google" baubles, and this is what I find....

Angry Indian named Baubles

Holiday Baubles

Bauble washed up on shore.

The Girl's Best Friend Bauble

The Man's Best Friend Bauble

Baubles adorned in Baubles

Bauble Man

Spaghetti with Meatbaubles

...and Baubles of Strength.

Super Penis ,pull the car crazy man - More amazing video clips are a click away

Fortuitous Photo-Op: Part 2

2008-03-28T18:27:00.002-04:00

Lady in the street.....

...But a Freak in the bed.

Fortuitous Photo-Op

2008-03-28T18:05:00.001-04:00

...and God giveth His heavenly blessing to the Hummer. Amen.

Sad, and Most Likely True....

2008-03-28T18:01:00.000-04:00

Maybe by being Single, I have been blessed by the gods.

The Sad Truth About Relationships

We live. We love....but We still destroy.

2008-03-26T18:07:00.000-04:00

There are few things I get up on my soap box for.....Animal cruelty is one of those subjects. I love animals. I love their beauty and spirit. I recognize their absolute necessity and purpose on this Earth. It makes me mad to think I was denied the opportunity to view and experience a animal that was drove to extinction before my time such as the Tasmanian Tiger, or the Dodo....beautifully unique creatures that are forever gone. Therefore, I find it equally upsetting and careless to not do everything in man's power to preserve a species still surviving, but slowly disappearing due to man's neglect, cruelty and selfishness. We are denying our future children, just as I have been denied. My blog is to make aware the plight of just one of the many threatened...Timber Wolves (a.k.a. the Grey Wolf) of the Northern Rockies and Alaska. Wolves are of the most beautiful creatures every known, and there are officials in the Bush/Cheney Administration who are working very hard to remove wolves from the endangered species list and pass law allowing the aerial gun-down or the killing by any means for hundreds of wolves. It breaks my heart to even watch the aerial hunt, and ashamed at how cruel mankind can be to each other and other living things.

If you care as I do, do something! Visit http://www.defenders.org/wildlife_and_habitat/wildlife/wolf,_gray.php

LifeCall?

2008-03-11T00:47:00.000-04:00

I had an unfortunate accident tonight. While walking down my front stairs to walk my dogs, one of them got under my feet and tripped me down on my ass, twisting my ankle pretty sharply in the process. The pitiful thing was that since I am a single woman who lives alone, there was no one to laugh at me for falling, let alone help me up....So, for ten minutes, I was stuck on my front stoop in pain. Later, I was finally able to stand and hobble back into my home to lick my wounds and my pride.

It was then that I realized maybe there is something to this LifeCall system. We all remember that early 90's infomercial with the unforgettable catch phrase, "I've fallen, and I can't get up!"? Well, I got to thinking that in these times of more and more single men and women living alone, why not have a LifeCall system for the Under 60? Hmm? Maybe we could get a discount for being under-aged. The LifeCall devices could come in snazzy colors or, for the ladies, all blinged out with sparkly Swarovski crystals and charms. You could download different ring-tones instead of that annoying beep, and have a voice-over of your favorite celebrity who answers your call. Apple could even come out with iAlert with the capability of holding 1500 of your favorite songs to listen to while you wait for the ambulance to arrive. The possibilities are endless!!!

If I could have just pushed the button of my "hot pink, crystal covered, butterfly charm hanging on the side" LifeCall remote control tonight with Brad Pitt in all his sexiness telling me help was on the way while I listened to my top 25, then I wouldn't have had to sit alone, completely embarrassed, in pain, in the cold, with my dogs sniffing me, wondering what the hell I'm doing on the ground. With LifeCall, I'm never alone! Guaranteed or your money back! Mmmm, wonder if Brad does night calls? ;)

Cheese Grater or Callous Remover? YUCK!

2008-03-10T17:10:00.000-04:00

Okay....I don't know if I should be sick or excited about this latest "As Seen On Tv" product. It's the Ped Egg, and it claims to give you silky soft feet minus the cost of expensive Spa Pedicures. Seems like a nifty idea....easy to use, clean, no mess, but do I really need to see a pound of "supposed" foot shavings being dumped to get the idea? Heaven forbid someone accidentally leaves it on the dinner table during Spaghetti Night!! GROSS!

Check out the commercial if the picture just isn't disgusting enough for you...

http://www.pedegg.com/?directLoad&uid=B5F4A681DBF0A2691E136768C1F25404

Size DOES Matter.

2008-03-10T13:04:00.000-04:00

I'd like to answer the question and say....YES! Size does matter.

I don't even want to know the fat grams in this thing! Just

hand it over NOW. :)

That's almost 5 inches of pure Peanut Buttery Bliss....Mmmm!

Just not enough....

2008-03-09T12:00:00.000-04:00

There just isn't enough "potty" humor around to brighten one's day and take you back to your junior high mentality when anything to do with the bathroom was some funny shit (no pun intended). Sit back, relax, and go back to a time when life was much simpler, and simpler things were much funnier.