LifeCall?

I had an unfortunate accident tonight.  While walking down my front stairs to walk my dogs, one of them got under my feet and tripped me down on my ass, twisting my ankle pretty sharply in the process.  The pitiful thing was that since I am a single woman who lives alone, there was no one to laugh at me for falling, let alone help me up....So, for ten minutes, I was stuck on my front stoop in pain.  Later, I was finally able to stand and hobble back into my home to lick my wounds and my pride.  

It was then that I realized maybe there is something to this LifeCall system.  We all remember that early 90's infomercial with the unforgettable catch phrase, "I've fallen, and I can't get up!"? Well, I got to thinking that in these times of more and more single men and women living alone, why not have a LifeCall system for the Under 60?  Hmm?  Maybe we could get a discount for being under-aged. The LifeCall devices could come in snazzy colors or, for the ladies, all blinged out with sparkly Swarovski crystals and charms.  You could download different ring-tones instead of that annoying beep, and have a voice-over of your favorite celebrity who answers your call.  Apple could even come out with iAlert with the capability of holding 1500 of your favorite songs to listen to while you wait for the ambulance to arrive.  The possibilities are endless!!!  

If I could have just pushed the button of my "hot pink, crystal covered, butterfly charm hanging on the side" LifeCall remote control tonight with Brad Pitt in all his sexiness telling me help was on the way while I listened to my top 25, then I wouldn't have had to sit alone, completely embarrassed, in pain, in the cold, with my dogs sniffing me, wondering what the hell I'm doing on the ground.  With LifeCall, I'm never alone! Guaranteed or your money back!  Mmmm, wonder if Brad does night calls? ;)