Between the hours of 12:00 am and 8:00 am, my yard was severely vandalized in a manor that most would only read about in a Martha Sterwart horror story. One, innocently glowing gazing ball was brutally abducted without care or concern for those to whom it belonged. That's right! Some inconsiderate FUCKER decided to help himself to my recently purchased, solar powered, light up at night, changing in three colors of blue, red and green, totally awesome gazing ball last night....TAKEN right out of my flower bed! I was so excited to finally receive it on Monday. Placed it in my flower bed Monday night, and by Wednesday morning, it's gone! I'm pissed!! Who steals a fucking garden ornament!?! I am cruising my neighborhood tonight, and the first gazing ball I see that resembles MY gazing ball, I'm taking it! I might even steal a gnome, a bird bath or two. Dammit, people!! Stay the fuck out of my yard!
**Okay...I apologize for the language. I feel better now, and I am searching at this very moment for a chocolate chip cookie to make it all right with the world again.**
IN LOVING MEMORY... you are missed.
2 comments:
I got angry just reading about that. Few things are as aggravating and rage-inspiring to me as casual theft. I'm crafting a voodoo effigy of the thieves right now. I'm off to find my needles.
I thank you for your support AND for your voodoo magic. It is refreshing to find fellow Americans who can not and will not stand for violent crime against garden ornamentation.
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